true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
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