yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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