I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
