I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
She said her name was "party"
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
