Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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