She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize