my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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