My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
