i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
