Got a toothbrush?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
