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i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
