Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
