Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
found the other keg... it's in the tree
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
where are my eyebrows?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize