come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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