tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
