Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
