i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
