he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize