wakey wakey hands off snakey
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
