Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
