If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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