so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
BRING THE BAGELS
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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