There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You dont lie about slip and slides
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize