if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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