Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Drake has all the answers
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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