Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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