I got chris browned last night
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
