whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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