Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
