If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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