So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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