No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
