who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
