hotel room ftw
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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