just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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