Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
