so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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