chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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