We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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