Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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