Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
