And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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