He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize