The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize