A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize
