fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i barfeds in our rink
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
