its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize