Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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