He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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