i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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