Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
