i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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