i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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