What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
