and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
