KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
