he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
you inspire me to be a worse person
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Randomize
