This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
